I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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