If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
True strength comes from lack of pants
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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