normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
