I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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