i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
