Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
