I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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