Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
