the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
