If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
