So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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