Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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