Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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