I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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