life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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