Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
