So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize