I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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