grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
