Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
