u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He? As in you personified your dick?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize