Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Girls should come with a carfax report
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
