you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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