How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
