So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Damn victory sex feels great
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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