Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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