i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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