Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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