Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize