Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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