Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
