I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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