people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
