I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
