Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
