At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
