Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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