i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
