Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
