are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
