I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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