So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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