I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she looked like the before picture.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
