and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
