I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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