apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have post one night stand depression
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