how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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