i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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