wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
