very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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